This serves as my online platform where I squeeze the lemons that life has thrown on to me.
and
E-mail: heyitsmika@yahoo.com
Skype: heyitsmika17
At only P99.75 each, the very handy #MeyerfTravelPack has all the essential meds you need!
Dark Shadows (1966)
Because I was ultimately hyped with this movie even though vampire movies were not my thing, I still researched about it.
So, Dark Shadows is originally an American gothic soap opera which is aired weekdays in ABC network from June 27, 1966 to April 2, 1971. Basically, the plot was about Barnabas Collins (which was portrayed by Jonathan Frid) who was the master of Collinwood Maner, a rich and an inveterate playboy.. until he makes the grave mistake of breaking the heart of the witch Angelique Bouchard. Because of so much heart ache, the witch cursed him into a vampire and buried him alive for about 200 years.
Two centuries later, Barnabas is inadvertently freed from his tomb and emerges into the very changed world of 1972. He returns to Collinwood Manor to find that his once-grand estate has fallen into ruin. The dysfunctional remnants of the Collins family have fared little better, each harboring their own dark secrets. Matriarch Elizabeth Collins Stoddard (Michelle Pfeiffer) has called upon live-in psychiatrist, Dr. Julia Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter), to help with her family troubles.
Also residing in the manor is Elizabeth’s ne’er-do-well brother, Roger Collins, (Jonny Lee Miller); her rebellious teenage daughter Carolyn Stoddard (Chloe Moretz); and Roger’s precocious 10-year-old son, David Collins (Gulliver McGrath). The mystery extends beyond the family, to caretaker Willie Loomis, played by Jackie Earle Haley, and David’s new nanny, Victoria Winters, played by Bella Heathcote. [source] (i just copy paste because I was lazy)
This Barnabas Collins with Maggie Evans.
Angelique Bouchard portrayed by Lara Parker.
I would love to watch the soap opera these days if they are only available. I love the story of Dark Shadows and I can find humour from it. It isn’t scary but it is lovely. When I knew about this, I became attracted by Vampires most especially Johny Depp portrayed Barnabas Collins. He really fascinates me and I want to watch it again.
More cautious on the cyber world.
The most important lesson I have learned in this place is to be more extra careful on what I should be saying and posting because this place is the most dirtiest place I have ever seen. You get to see nude photos, controversial stories and other hot issues that would go mainstream. This place has more than an HIV or AH1N1 virus which could emotionally ruin one’s life. There’s too much in this place.
The cyber world is mostly dominated with teenagers but they scariest part is it is now accessed by little kids which could affect one’s mentality when they get older. What they see on this place could reflect on their personality.
Though we say that we are young, wild and free, we are still accountable on what we are doing. Even though we have the norms like “what stays in my blog, stays in my blog” and “I can write/post whatever I like”, we should still be responsible for our selves. We can’t be seventeen forever and obnoxiously use foul words to bash on someone because someday, this can be used against us. This can be an evidence on what we used to be when we are still younger. Have you seen the movie “You Again”? You’ll understand what I mean if you have seen the movie.
Someday, we will have jobs, family and our properties and it is inevitable that as we go through our journey, we will encounter different kind of people. There will be some who’ll become our enemies even we didn’t do something on them? Probably they will be insecure on your achievements or get jealous because you are someone’s pet. Something like that. And then, they would furiously investigate about you so that they could bring you down. Even though you have changed from your juvenile acts back when you were younger, they would do everything to dig from your past and use it as a black mail.And then your world will crush into pieces and make you run away with tears.
That’s why as early as now, I am making my past personal posts private. I am choosing the right words for my blog and the right photos that I will post. We really don’t know what will happen to us if we don’t act mature enough on our deeds while we are young.
Seriously, I can’t handle constructive criticisms.
True. However, whenever I receive one, I don’t show to the people that I am breaking down in the inside. I don’t cry and make an angst expression out of it. I just keep quiet, breath slowly and make a that sphinx like smile. I am not a strong person, y’know. Ihave a fragile heart and I get hurt easily.
I just remember that one night when we were having our dry run for our Community Health defense, I am getting constructive criticisms from our advisers. He commented about how I stand, how I talk and how I acted on something. I don’t want to go on the details but on how he delivered his words with a sarcastic tone made me break down. I felt embarrass. I felt ashamed on my deed. I felt I was a big failure.
There are still a lot of stories regarding “criticisms”, it may be a constructive one or not, I can’t handle those.
This trait I have is one thing that I want to eliminate from my system. I hope that one day, I can live it up with. I hope that I can face them with a real smile and react with those maturely. I just need to be get used with it. I am a human, I get hurt. They are also human, they criticize. Life goes on with that.
Months have already passed since we moved to a new place. I didn’t write about the new place, the new habit and the new feeling. It was a struggle for me at the first place because I didn’t want to go because the old place mean so much to me. I have this habit of holding on something for too long most especially that it has value for me. The old place was the place were I grew. It was the place that I was most comfortable of. If only everything went smooth then we should have stayed. But this is life. I need to keep moving forward and somehow let go of the things that are broken. I need to grow up so that I could handle very well circumstances that life has brought me.
*Another photo using the FxCamera application. However, I adjusted the level, brightness and contrast because it was too sharp.
I don’t know if you find me weird but whenever I ride a tricycle, I start to make stories in my mind. Sometimes, I scribble my dreams on a thin air or reminisce the days when I was still a little kid. Riding a tricycle is like a therapy for me because as I feel the wind brush through my cheeks, I feel so relax. It is like I am in a music video or in a movie.
Don’t let society fool you.
We are all born unique with our own mind, own mouth and own hands. Our parents or our first guardians wish nothing but the best for the future. We learn the basics at home but as we grow up, the society starts to manipulate our innocent minds. Our eyes widened what’s pretty and what’s ugly. It showed us the best and the worse. There were different norms which made us on who we want to be.
However, back in our home we were taught on what’s right and what’s wrong. We were taught in what’s good for ourselves and what’s bad. We should be standing right now on who we are and not on who we want to be because of what we see in media or on other people. Don’t try kill yourself because your size and shape is different from those bikini bods or your skin is not as porcelain like your favorite KPOP group.
We are here not to fit in but to stand out. Don’t puff a stick or gulp an alcohol just because your friends do it too. Don’t act like a baby prostitute in the club because that is what makes you feel beautiful. Don’t open your legs because you are afraid that your boyfriend might leave. Don’t be someone who is absolutely you are not.
You have your own mind. You know the basics from your parents or first guardian. We are all made unique. We are all beautiful because we are God’s creation. All you need is your whole being on who you really are. You just need your own principles to survive. You just need to be you.
Deactivating.
I feel like deactivating my blog once again. I’ve done this once back in 2008 for some personal reasons. My username was “mikopiumstar”. Right now, I am thinking of deactivating again because I spilled to much in this blog which I guess it is already unhealthy. This place is already overcrowded already and a lot of people know me in real life. I just don’t like that they’ll mention my posts at the middle of our conversation which is totally awkward. Hmm.
I really don’t know. Maybe I am just thinking of this because my period is almost here. HAHA. Y’know, imbalance thinking. HAHA.
Babae nga lang naman.
Ang hirap natin sa mga babae ay marupok ang puso natin. Masyado tayong malambot na minsan ay binibigyan nating nga “meaning” ang mga bagay na wala naman talagang ibig sabihin. Masyado tayong mapagmahal hanggang umabot sa punto na wala nang natira sa atin. Kahit ilang beses pa nabigo ay keri parin bumangon at pulutin ang mga basag na parte sa kanyang puso. Marupok man tayo ay natuto rin tayong maging malakas.
Dapat ay pinapahalagahan tayo ng mga lalake at minamahal kasi espesyal tayo. Kaya nating magdala ng fetus sa tiyan natin ng siyam na buwan habang nagluluto ng pagkain para sa asawa niya. Kaya natin mag-multi task. Wonderwoman kaya tayo.
Kaya huwag mong sayangin ang iyong luha o ang iyong pagiging babae sa taong hindi ka kayang alagaan. Ireserba mo ang puso mo sa taong sigurado kang magpapasaya sayo at ituturing kang reyna sa puso niya habang buhay. Huwag masyadong magmadali. Keri yan.
Dear Self,
Stop imagining those impossible things in your mind with him. You are very far away from his likes and you’ll never be his girl. You are just his friends. Nothing more, nothing less. Don’t ever put meaning on his gestures because he does it to his friends. If you think that he likes you because he is sweet to you, then quit that. That is what you think because he is something special to you. When I say stop, you stop. Stop stalking his facebook or saving his pictures on your phone and make it as a wallpaper. Stop waiting for him to get online and chat with you. Stop making text posts about him in your blog. Stop making him as your world. You are just crazy.
He’ll never notice how you feel for him. He’ll never be yours. Again, you are nothing but just his friend.
How I wish I can keep my friends in my pocket literally so that I can have them forever. I have this fear of growing old alone or being with people who don’t my real personality. I am afraid that I will be misunderstood because all I know is that my friends can adjust on who I am. I used to believe on the pinky promise of “bestfriends forever” but I am totally wrong. I realize that someday we will part ways because they will have their own life and own family. Someday, I have mine too which I really doubt. However, I am hoping that in the far future, we will still find ways to talk and laugh together and reminisce those silly things we have done.
